FOR MARIE AND EDDIE; LOVE CAN

A week ago, my sister Marie got married to her soulmate Eddie and I was so proud to see her wearing the wedding dress I had made for her. It’s strange to say my sister got married because I grew up as an only child, but there you go. Life delivers surprises everyday.

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Soulmates

I grew up knowing I was adopted, it was a bedtime story from when I was a little boy; I was told that while my friends all came from their mummy’s tummies, I was different and had been picked in a baby shop, my parents had looked around and chose me. Therefore I was special and grew up thinking adoption was pretty much the coolest thing in the world. And feeling extra special of course. When I was 18, I told my parents I was gay. Actually, I verbally vomited this information up on a Saturday morning, having grown tired of holding it inside for the previous 10 years. After the tears and the hugs and unquestionable family devotion, my mother decided that, as I had shared my secret, she would share her’s with me. I grew up thinking she had never had children but, on that Saturday, amid empty boxes of kleenex, she told me that she had had a baby girl before she was married, in rural Dublin in the 1960’s. More tears ensured, of course. The father didn’t want to stick around and Mum decided that the best gift she could give her baby daughter was to give her up for adoption in the hope that another family would give her the life that she could not provide at the time. That was my mum’s sacrifice and she carried it with her everyday. She still does. Years later, she met and married my father and they tried to have kids but, it turned out, my father wasn’t able to father children and so the circle turned and the beginning met the end and they adopted me.

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Mother and Son

Just over 10 years ago, my sister came looking for her natural mother and another circle completed its turn. Unfortunately Marie lost her own mother just months before finding Mum. Life takes away and gives back to those who are fortunate. Mum and Marie are peas in a pod. Their not only share blood, but mannerisms, laughter, the same sense of style, the same hand movements which you think are learned from your everyday environment but it turns out not to be the case. Mum also has two gorgeous Grandchildren so I’ve been let off the hook for not providing her with any and I got two nieces into the bargain.

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Marie’s daughters/bridesmaids, Mum’s grandchildren and my nieces 

This picture below is Mum and her daughter last Saturday in Dublin on the morning of the wedding in Marie’s bedroom.  Mother and daughter united again and my Mum got to walk down the aisle with her daughter on her wedding day with Marie’s adopted Dad on the other side.

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If you look out the window, the building opposite is a nuns convent, Temple Hill. That’s where I started my life. I told you, Life always delivers surprises.

My sister asked me to speak at the wedding ceremony. These are the words I wrote for my sister Marie and her new Husband Eddie, with love…

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He gives her his hand
not to take hers
but to place his heart in her hold

She gives him her heart
not because she doesn’t need it
but to let him know she needs him more

He stands beside her
not to sink in her shadow
but to rise higher together

She kisses his lips
not to take his breath
but to share his soul

He gives her his hand
she gives him her heart
they share their souls.
These are their best offerings
they are not money
they are not material

because material
can never hold your hand
and money
can never warm your heart

the way Love can…

This is how unions are made…
This is how families grow…

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All Words and Pictures by Damien B. Donnelly

 

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25 thoughts on “FOR MARIE AND EDDIE; LOVE CAN

  1. merrildsmith

    Wow! You are a talented man, and it seems like you have a wonderful family. Best wishes to your sister and her husband!
    When our older daughter was 18 or 19 (freshman year in college), she told us she was gay–totally not a surprise. 🙂 She now has a wife. Last year, my niece discovered the family of the father she never knew, and they’ve welcomed her.

    1. deuxiemepeau

      Thank you Merril. The family are the best so I’m a lucky boy!
      I guess we never know what life has in store for us or those around us but the biggest gift we can give is understanding and support!
      Big hugs to you and yours xx

  2. Elusive Trope

    a beautiful post in all regards. i believe my toughest assignment in poetry workshops was when the professor assigned us to do a toast. the sheer struggle to wrangle out sincere sentiment for such a moment and to do so with novelty and wisdom. you have accomplished such times over.

  3. Stefanie Neumann

    Wow, that is quite a family story! I am happy for you that you all found together in the end and can enjoy to be a family, now. Also, after seeing the photos and reading the words I would ask you to make my wedding dress and write something for my wedding ceremony, too, but alas, it is too late! 😉

    May Mary and Eddie be blessed with love and happiness.

    Much love,
    Steffi

    1. deuxiemepeau

      Thank you and I am a little relieved, i must confess, that I am a little late to make your dress, I think I have handed in my wedding dress making responsibilities for a few years now. I’m still recovering from sewing 5000 tiny beads onto the belt of the dress by hand, one by one, and still picking up random beads here on the floor.
      We do have a lovely family tale to tell these days and it seems to always bring a smile, if not a joyous tear, to faces.
      I will pass on your best wishes to the love birds
      XX

      1. Stefanie Neumann

        Haha! You have my full compassion for handing in the sewing job for a while, Dami! It sounds like you will continue to find tiny little reminders of your great love for your sister and her husband on your floor for the next few years. And it is much more special if this stays a unique gift for your beautiful sister!
        Nobody except for my husband and me would have seen much of my dress, anyway, as we eloped to a little village in Denmark and then had to hide from a severe storm, three years ago. 😉
        Be kind to your tortured hands!

  4. exploringcolour

    You made a dress that looks in the photo to suit your sister so beautifully! What an amazing story and your poem is very special too. I’m overjoyed that such family happiness came your way!!

    1. deuxiemepeau

      It is an amazing story of a joy that came home. I’m so happy they both found each other again! It was a tear filled wedding from start to finish. 🤗

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